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Rules Don’t Belong in Polyamory. Concentrate on boundaries and agreements for happier, more relationships that are secure

24Mar

Rules Don’t Belong in Polyamory. Concentrate on boundaries and agreements for happier, more relationships that are secure

I am polyamorous, the question of rules comes up often when I tell people. Partners who will be not used to available relationships usually wish to begin in the beginning with a collection of guidelines for just what can happen when they start exploring away from their present relationship. My advice in their mind could be this: guidelines don’t belong in polyamorous (or monogamous) relationships.

The Distinction Between Rules, Boundaries, and Agreements

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It may look bold to express that rules aren’t the right choice, but let’s glance at exactly just exactly what guidelines are, as well as other choices we could give consideration to.

A guideline is just a declaration that tells you what’s allowed or exactly what will take place within a specific system, in cases like this, a relationship. Guidelines are enforced. Once you destination guidelines on your own relationship or your spouse, you will be placing restrictions on their behavior.

A boundary is a relative line that marks the limitations of a place. In a relationship, a boundary focuses for you- just what do you want, exactly what are your restrictions? it is possible to communicate where your boundaries are to your spouse. The behavior they choose as soon as you’ve done this is certainly kept within their arms, instead of being dictated by a guideline you imposed in it.

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